Expanding the Battery Levels

For the past year, I've been working on an app that is based on Spoon theory and my connecting it with batteries, Autism, and my expansion on spoons.  Initially, this started as an assignment for class, but I feel that this can benefit the greater Autistic and Disability community.  

However, I need some feedback, so I need some help from you, dear readers.  One of the steps has been to develop stages of the "battery" that drains towards meltdown/distress.  What I need is feedback about the definitions of these stages.  So, please, read the following, and leave your constructive criticism; meaning, suggestions to make them better.  

Blue: perfectly fine, calm, relaxed, under control and fully recharged, refreshed. Bliss (realistically, this state is probably only achieved for a short period at the beginning of the day, if not in a week.  However, while rare, it is achievable, and thus included on the battery chart)

Green: active and working, but still energetic, managing drain on resources ("spoons"), still collected if not completely relaxed and calm.  Go (probably the more realistic starting point for a day, this is what in clinical medical language would be called high-functioning and is the impossible to maintain goal of therapy and interventions.  That is to say while it is difficult if not outright impossible for most neurologically typical persons to maintain this level of functioning and stress management, it is not impossible to achieve this for periods of a time.  As such, it is included on the battery chart.)

Yellow: feeling the drain more, needing breaks but managing with self-care skills and sensory management.  Ideally, this is the lowest that a person would go on the battery chart.  However, life is never ideal.  Instead, it is the general goal of the app to build the self awareness of autistic people and others who experience meltdowns, as well as give them the tools to communicate, in order to managed their meltdowns.  It is the hopeful goal that in time, they will less likely to past this point.  This is the draining, but managing point, where skills and tools are being used at their most and the person is holding on.  Probably cannot maintain this stage for too long, but long enough to get what needs to be done and get to a safe spot for decompression.  

Orange: the end of resources and need for considerable time to recharge as soon as possible if not immediately in order to stop a crash and/or meltdown.  The person needs to get to a safe spot, because they are running on reserves and feeling overwhelmed.  Everything is becoming overloaded and they don't have the emotional, mental, and physical resources to deal with it.  At this stage, there is a slim chance of stopping a meltdown into a mild crash, but only if action is taken immediately. 

Red: point of no return.  If it hasn't already happened, then a crash or meltdown is going to happen soon and the person is trying to delay it as much as possible, which often only makes it worse.  The person needs to go to somewhere safe, to be able to decompression, potentially "regress" and release of emotions and overload.  They need to "let off steam" in the way that suits them best, usually left alone, and then be left to fully recharge.  This can take a long time, depending on the amount of drain they are experiencing and their personal rate of recharge; downtime/ recharge time should be included on info card.  

~ * ~ 

Thank you so much for all your assistance!  And feel free to spread this around, I want to get a lot of feedback for this.  

Conferences and Awards

Hello all, sorry I've been so quiet.  I've been studying, and then taking things easy to recuperate and prepare.  


This July, I'll be in Pittsburgh, PA, for the 44th Annual Autism Society Conference, giving a presentation as part of the Autism Women's Network* on needs and issues of autistic women throughout the lifespan.  While the conference runs July 10-13, our talk will be Friday, July 12 at 1:45 - 3:00, in conference room 303.  We're very pleased to see that membership for the conference for autistic persons is free and that interaction badges are available.  

I'll also be looking for quiet spaces.  

At the same time that the conference is happening, I've been selected to receive the Bill & Lucille Owen Award in Public Policy at Ryerson University Disability Studies.  I won't be able to receive the award in person during the ceremony on Tuesday, since I'll be on a plane to the conference, but I'm told that everyone at my department is excited for me.  

I'm just amused that I applied for one award, and was selected for a totally different one.  But it will definitely help pay for school in the next year.  Aaaah, it takes some of the burden off to know that I got the award, and since I just sent in my course selections, I'm looking forward to the Fall!!  

But yes, I hope to see people at the conference next week!!  

What's the Point of World Autism Awareness?

Autism awareness, I have to ask, what are you doing it for? What is your point? In the words of many a university professor, so what?

If you’re doing it because it’s the “right thing to do” or the cause of the month, because it gives you a warm fuzzy feeling and a pat on the back, just stop. Especially if you’re cutting off and silencing Autistic people. Stop, and pick a different cause. Thanks, but no thanks. We don’t need no crocodile tears, no false allies distracting the world from what really needs happening.

Go find yourself a cause that affects you personally, or learn what’s truly important about autism awareness.

I’ll tell you a secret, or rather, not a secret, if you’d pay attention. It’s not actually about the autism awareness. Oh sure, increased awareness seems good, less of us slipping through the cracks, more of us figuring out who we are earlier, how to function, how to navigate the turbulent and disabling seas of society.

But there’s a down side too. It means THEY can find us, the bigots, the bullies, our rapists, abusers and murderers. You think I’m joking? You think I’m being over dramatic?
The statistics say otherwise. In violent crimes involving autistic people, autistic people are mainly the victims. In general, disabled people are ten times more likely to be victims of violent crimes than non-disabled people, ten times, with just the crimes that are reported. Studies have noted that disabled people often have no confidence in the police and the justice system, so crimes they face are often not reported.

At least ten times. Think of the statistics on rape, on violent crimes, on murder. At least ten times more likely. You should feel sick.

Awareness is not enough. Allies is not enough. What is the point?
The point?
The point is this: I think, therefore I am.
I am a human being. I am Autistic.
I am an Autistic person.
The point is that as a human being, as an Autistic person, I have rights. Human rights. Disability rights. Autism rights.

I refuse to add the “self” to advocate, to my activism, because I am not advocating just for myself, but for every Autistic person alive, now and future generations. For our rights as humans, our rights as Autistic humans.

So what? What’s the point?

The point is that without acceptance, without human rights, autism awareness is worthless. You may not like each and every one of us personally, but we have human rights. And it is my right, as a human being, as an Autistic person, to decide my own future. My future, my choice.

Nothing about us, without us.
It’s as simple as that.
At the front of any conversation regarding Autistic lives should be Autistic people. It is our lives, after all, that are ultimately affected by any decision. We are then supported by any support staff, family members, caregivers, professionals, academics. Scientists may research merrily, but when it comes to affecting our lives directly, we have the final say. Our lives, our choice.

So the point? It’s not autism awareness, it’s Autistic awareness.
Here we are. This is what we want. Our rights. Our lives. Ours.
Ours. Period.

Autistic People Should

Autistic People Should is TODAY

A flash blog event reacting to the negative auto-fill when one searches "Autistic people should" and "Autistic people are".    



Autistic People Should  is Today, February 23.  

Autistic People Are is March 2.


I will be participating as much as I can, given that I'm technically down with a cold and have an essay for class.   


I have my tumblr, and my twitter.

Goal Reached!

My ChipIn goal has been reached!

Thank you all who contributed!!!

It'll take a few days for the money to clear from Paypal to my bank, but it shouldn't be more than a week.  

I'll be covering the taxes myself; I figure it's only fair that I do pay some of the costs myself.  And with all of the support I've gotten with everyone, it won't be quite a burden on my limited funds! 

Now comes the fun part; what colour should I get it in?  Hmmmmmmm.....  

The Goal is in Sight

We're 63% towards raising the money for my educational iPad.  That's $395, meaning $224 more to go!!!

If a lot of people donated even just $10 each, it would be fantastic!!  Or just shared this around to reach more people!


One thing that I'm looking into is the iPad Mini.  While it's cheaper than a full iPad, I have my doubts about it's size being suitable for my dexterity. I think that I'm still going to find a full iPad to suit my needs, and even full sized, much more portable than a laptop. However, I have to at least give it a chance and test it out.

For organizational sake, here is my history and experience with assistive devices plus my reasoning behind getting an iPad, and here is a list of the types of apps I plan to get for my iPad to use at school.

Should this widget not work for you, there is also the ChipIn page. 

2012, An Anniversary

For me, 2012 is somewhat special.  You see, ten years ago, in the fall of 2002, I sat in a psychiatrist's chair and heard the words that pretty much changed my life.

It's been 10 years since I've been diagnosed with Autism.   That's ten years of self-discovery and growth, of learning to understand myself, not as broken or a monster, but as an autistic person with strengths as well as weaknesses.  Ten years of learning what works for me to use my strengths instead of my weaknesses.

Ten years of learning to be comfortable with myself, with my own skin and ways of doing things, of forgetting the rigid rules I made for myself in attempts to conform and fit in.  Ten years of undoing all the damage that I've done to myself in order to fit to some abstract concept of normal.

Ten years of being free to just be me
Ten years of making friends who accept me for who I am, not who I pretend to be.
Ten years of friends and people who not only accept, but celebrate and cherish my gifts and differences

Ten years of learning that I am no less different and not alone.

I am never alone.

You are not alone.


It is also another anniversary.  On October 31st, 2008, I graduated from Wilfrid Laurier University with a General Bachelor of Arts in English.  After six years of studying in the Honors program, I decided that I really didn't care to write another essay on abstract literary terms and found the loophole that let me graduate "early".  I liked the university lifestyle, at least, the rather geeky aspect of it: the schedule of classes, sitting in lectures, the predictability of assignments, the campus clubs.  I met good people in university, both in the administration (especially the Accessible Learning Centre, excellent people there) and in the campus clubs, people who welcomed me, accepted me, and liked me for everything that I am.

While university was a challenge, it was also very rewarding, even without the friendships I treasure and cherish.  It got me thinking about what I wanted to do with my life, and has helped me to develop my research, thinking and writing skills to go on to my current studies.  The successes I've had in Disability Studies has confirmed a lot of things about myself and has directed me towards many engaging projects.


I can honestly say that I am a much happier person now than ten years ago, that I am proud with whom I have become.  It's not all the autism diagnosis, no, but it sure played a big part in me coming to understand myself.  By learning more about other autistic people and Autism in general, I now have words to describe my experiences, to explain to others my needs, and to grow in some many ways.  My heart grows light when I consider how my younger child-self would view me; I have grown up to be the type of person I have always wanted to be.

Honestly, how many people can say that?  Are you who you want to be?